What motivates us to be better? Better at work, better at home or better people in general?
Studies show that the carrot on a stick only works for simple tasks. Studies show that when thinking is part of the task, money doesn’t motivate. In fact, it is a disincentive as soon as we have enough to meet our normal needs. Does this sound like any successful families you know?
So, what motivates us to be better? Specifically, what motivates our children to be better people? Better question still: How can I help motivate my family to be a better family?
The answer to motivation is just three things. People want:
Autonomy Mastery Purpose
These are what add value to our lives; so much so, that we will work long and hard for no pay at all, if what we are doing gets us closer to or gives us one of these things.
Telling our children what to do, does not give them autonomy. Thinking that their hobby is a waste of time and money, does not encourage mastery. Not discussing family purpose to find out what your children share, will not hold them close when you are gone.
70% of families avoid all of these motivators, and their families have no traction and leave no lasting mark on their communities. 90% of all families with wealth fail by the end of the third generation.
If you would like to learn how to keep your family close and use your wealth to strengthen your family and community, then please take the first step and contact us.
The autonomy driver was so strong in one of my client’s children that he was prepared to give up running his parents company, worth millions, to go back and manage a franchise he had started that was barely breaking even. Why? Because it was his! Once he moved to ‘corporate’ he didn’t feel he was his own man with his parents looking over his shoulder all the time (even though they didn’t think they were doing it).
The solution was communication. I spoke with mom and dad, got their story and helped them to remember what is most important to them. I spoke with their son and got him to isolate what was bothering him. After spending more time with mom and dad I helped them understand their son’s feelings and I was able to I help them all keep perspective. With a caring advocate in the middle, the family is now back on track. Mom and Dad clearly see how important it is to their son to make the company his own. Their son is energized and excited to prove his worth and lead the family business for the next generation.
No spreadsheets, no agreements, no restructuring or independent legal advice. Just two way communication with some very well intentioned direction and stick-handling from us. That’s the Heritage and Alignment planning we do at Markewich Financial.